Follow Up Appointment

Today I had my follow up appointment with my surgeon... I had to go to the hospital to get some x rays done before I saw him and just walking into the room where you have the x ray done gave me so much anxiety. The room was dark with the x ray bed in the middle and it just brought back so many memories and feelings from my surgery. I remembered how I felt when I was laying there and had all these people around me sticking me with needles left and right. I remembered this one nurse that was there with me while the anestesiologist was administering the medication, she was talking to me asking me all of these random questions. I started to get really frusterated with her because I just wanted it to be quiet so I could pray.. Then I started to understand that she was just trying to make me feel comfortable or just calm me down because at that time I was starting to breath pretty heavily. Ugh. I guess all in all my surgery went well, the worst was waiting for it to happen, being in the operating room waiting for the medication to take effect, and then waking up after the surgery. As much as I'm thankful that it went well I just dont ever want to have surgery again. Then guess what, after my surgeon looked at my x rays today I guess my sternum (breast bone) shifted somehow during my recovery which loosed the steel wiring thats supposed to hold my sternum together... He has to go back in and fix this asap.. which is Thursday. UGH. How am I going to go through this again? I KNOW it wont be near as bad as my open heart surgery but I still do not want to go back into an operating room. He's got to put me under again because he doesnt know how deep he'll have to go in until he opens me up. I can't believe this.

My first blog

My first blog! I decided I should create a blog because I am literally driving myself crazy just sitting home everyday watching day time television. At least this way I could get out some of my thoughts. Well, I've just had open heart surgery on the 19Th of November. I am really glad that it's over with.. I found out that I needed surgery so fast it was scary.. I went in for my routine appointment with my cardiologist and then needed an angiogram done then the next thing I new I needed surgery within 3 months. I knew once I was having the angiogram done that I would eventually need the surgery I just didn't realize how fast I would need it. The surgeon scheduled the surgery for the 19Th and I had like literally 2 weeks to figure it all out. I was running around crazy trying to get everything sorted out.. I got out of the hospital last Monday so I was only in there for 6 days. I was in so much pain when I first got out of surgery but the hardest thing was not being able to see Gavin. Chase brought our laptop to the hospital though and I would talk to Gavin over skype, which is really cool because I could actually see him, but it was really hard!! Anyway, now I'm home. Its hard because I am still really limited on what I can and cant do. I'm not used to just sitting at home though. It's tough because usually I'd love to be home I could clean do laundry, etc. But, this time it's hard because I'm still so sore that I cant do much. Anyway, I need to go wake up my boys now Chase has class in 45 min. I dont think he set his alarm.....