Tennessee.

I'm angry today. I feel like he is leaving me. I feel like it may as well be over. I tried to talk to him yesterday.. about me going with him and weighing out the pros/cons. I wanted to tell him that I want to go sooner than January, that my heart is breaking thinking about trying to survive emotionally without him here. He brushed me off. Said "Well, its simple, get a job" Suprisingly, I actually bit my tongue. Something I havent had the control to do in a while. I wanted to tell him to get a damn job.. if got a job then we wouldnt be in this situation. Maybe I am just selfish, but I feel like he always get the good stuff.. the rewards.. the flexibility. He is leaving CSU because its not a good enough school, wtf? He's lucky enough to get to go to college at all.. let alone to pursure a masters degree! Here I am, a mental slave to my job. I work 40+ hours a week sometimes. I am tired. I've supported our family and make sure that he has an opportunity to complete his Masters degree.. And now he's moving across the country because Fresno State isnt good enough. Here I am left. Consumed not only with the stress of my job, but being an only parent to Gavin, bills, the house.. everything. I dont feel planted here. I feel like he's my only friend.. and now that he's leaving I'll really be alone. And he asks me whats wrong? When the topic of him leaving first came about it was a "Hell no, not without my family" Now the not without you has turned into a come if you get a job here.. I just dont get it. I told him before It's fine, I will get through him being gone and be a support system to him too while he's there I just want the guarantee to go with him at the end of the year. I dont know what is going to happen and I really dont know what to do. I feel like if I ask him not to go he'll blame me when he realizes the expirence he could have got there.. and If I support it, I'm setting myself up.